Main Street
By Martin Ough Dealy
There are many main streets in Jakarta to write about. But all are are characterised by some common features especially regarding the rules that are supposed to govern the traffic.Not that the traffic in the city seems to take any notice of the rules. In many places the rules of the road are flouted with impunity.
There are several pieces of advice that old Jakarta hands will give to newly arrived expatriates regarding the rules and risks:
• The only thing you can be sure of in a street marked as one way is that 51% of the traffic will go in the direction indicated.
• If the driver ahead is sticking his arm out of the window as if signalling his intentions, the only certainty is that the window is open.
• When you are stopped by a traffic policeman reach for your small change not your driving license.
• When stopped by a military policeman reach for your wallet and your license;
• If the driver ahead is waving you on to pass him….DON’T. It is 99% certain that something is coming the other way.
• Buses licensed to carry 50 passengers are bound to carry at times three times that number.
• The rule that you must wear a helmet when on a motor bike is deemed to have been observed even if your headgear is a kitchen colander or deep saucepan.
• The speed humps in the road that slow you down are known as Polisi Tidor” or sleeping policeman
• The sign that says “Utara” is not the name of the next village. It is actually pointing you in the direction of north. So you had better learn the language quickly.
Jalan Thamrin is a very long main street that cuts right through the heart of Jakarta. It starts in Taman Monas at the northern end where there is a monument to Soekarno’s last stand. It ends in huge roundabout famous for a unique statue celebrating the independence from Dutch colonialism.
The huge roundabout that marks the southern end of Jalan Thamrin is where the locals erected one of the city’s many extreme statues. This one is of a distorted man holding the flames of independence aloft.
Expatriates have called him “Hot Hands Harry”.
But it is also known as the "Pizza Man"
Jalan Thamrin was named after one of Indonesia’s many revolutionary hero’s . Husni Thamrin’s statue is to be found in Monas and like many of Jakarta’s figures has been given a somewhat disrespectful sobriquet. In his case he is known to the expatriates as the “One Tooth Fairy God father”.
The traffic in Jalan Thamrin is something else. Built with two lanes on each side, these quickly become choked in the rush hour and the traffic flows more or less in four rows on either side of the median strip with motorcyclists using the pedestrian path as their own through way.
Woe betides any pedestrians.
Yet the locals will quite sublimely ignore the traffic and cross the road, hoping that by flapping their hands and smiling they will be seen and not run over.
The saving grace is that no one can travel at much more than five miles an hour so the traffic just oozes along rather like a very muddy stream. In fact to drive in Jakarta you really have to learn the art of oozing and know the size of your car and where its extremities are, right down to the last centimetre. Oozing really is the game of chicken raised to an art form and he who dares generally succeeds, except when a large bus or truck comes along…then everyone gets out of the way….their drivers simply do not take prisoners!
Jakarta has many main streets and each is notable for some grotesque statue or other….near the Hotel Borobudur there is a statue of a man throwing off the chains of Dutch colonial rule. It is a vigorous muscular figure with legs wide apart, body hunched and arms stiffly outstretched. The expression on the face is of eager, aggressive anticipation with the mouth wide open as if shouting or appealing….
in fact it is so well done that the English expats call it “The HOWZAT Man” …. a bowler appealing for a favourable decision from the cricket umpire.
The main road out to Halim Airport passes another monument to progress, This was the largest rubbish dump in the world nearby another roundabout sports another grotesque statue to commemorate another hero from the revolution. Again it has its own special name given by the always irreverent expatriates.
He is called either the “Seven Up Man”, or better still “The Surfer”
What he is really doing I have never been able to find out. Its meaning is also lost on the local people it seems: nobody I have ever asked has been able to explain to me what the statue represents. And why should they care anyway? They have more urgent matters on their minds – like survival in the chaotic traffic.
Fortunately nowadays Halim is no longer the capital’s main airport and has resumed its role as the main military airbase for the region. The new airport that replaced it is the Soekarno-Hatta International airport.
It too has its own statues, this time of President Soekarno and Ir Gen Hatta together.
Soekarno seems to be pointing in the direction of The Pizza Man.
Yet another statue on Jalan Thamrin, known to foreigners as "Hansel and Gretel" shows them trying to get the attention of the same man.
Meanwhile, the statue of General Sudirman, otherwise disrespectively known as “The Flunkey” is saluting the quality of the pizza’s
Whilst Chairil Anwar, Indonesia’s revolutionary poet back in Monas Square shows his general disapproval of everything. He has certainly turned his back on Soekarno’s last stand.
Finally, Prince Dipponegoro, commemorated in a really flambouyant manner seems to be having a real battle in controlling his horse. Maybe the animal was frightened by "Hot Hands Harry", or maybe the Prince used his spear too vigorously, but it is difficult to tell which end is which. Anyway the expatriate name for this imaginative extreme is
FIFTH MAN OF THE APOCALYPSE OR THE PHANTOM RIDER OR HEIGH HO SILVER.
It is hoped that this item is taken in the spirit it is meant to be - a light hearted bit of fun.
Copyright of all parts of this site is owned by M.& M.M. Ough Dealy
This page last modified on Monday, 17 October 2021